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"Dad, can you loan me N500,000?," Kola asked his father.
"What for son?," his father asked.
"For my wedding.
"By our calculations, we're falling short meeting the cost."
Kola had come to meet his parents with his fiancé.
"Your wedding?
"How much is the total cost of the wedding?," his father asked.
"N3.6 million.
"We're thinking of starting the committee next week.
"We can together give about N800,000 and expect our friends to help us raise about N2 million.
"I remember you told me if ever I need help, I can come to you," Kola answered.
His father held him by the shoulder and said, "Go get your wife and come meet me in my study room."
"Yes, dad," Kola obliged.

Minutes later, Kola and his fiancé, Tomilayo, walked into his father's study room.
"Having a good time, my daughter?," Kola's father asked.
"Yes I am.
"You and your wife are so hospitable.
"I pray that Kola and I can emulate your marriage.
"You are an admirable couple," answered Kola's fiance.
"Thank you.
"I am delighted to have you as my daughter.
"This is your home, you're welcome anytime," said father.

They sat down.

"Thank you dad."
"So, I hear you want to spend N3.6 million for your wedding and you need me to help with N800,000?," asked father.
"Yes, we will greatly appreciate," said the fiancé.
"The wedding will be at the Total Garden, Ibadan in about six months time," said Kola.
"Why do you want to have a big wedding?," father asked.
"Well, it's our big day.
"She's always dreamt of a big wedding," Kola replied.
"Have you dreamt of a big wedding or a strong marriage?," the father asked the fiancé.
"When you put it that way, it's more of a strong marriage," said the fiancé.
"You've answered wisely.
"So who do you expect to come for your wedding?," asked the father.
"Friends and relatives.
"About seven hundred people," answered Kola.
"How many true friends do you really have?
"I mean friends who have been tried and tested to be there for you through thick and thin?," asked the father.
Kola and Tomilayo looked at each other.
"Countable," the fiancé answered.
"So who are these other people who will come to your wedding?," asked the father.


"OK. Let's go to the relatives.
"I know you love your relatives, but how many are really close to you?
"You barely talk with the many relatives you have," said the father.
"What are you trying to say dad?," asked Kola.
"My son, my daughter; why do you want to spend N3.6 million on a wedding, a one-day event, yet you need the money in your marriage
"Look, you are actually coming to ask me for money, you will form a committee to ask people for money; all to show off and please people, who will not even matter in your marriage!"


The father continued, "Let me share with you my experience.
"When I married your mother, we spent about a million for the wedding.
"That was a lot of money then.
"We fed people, got stressed by service providers, just so that we put up a wedding that will win the applause of a crowd.
"But as soon as we got married, the crowd disappeared.
"All the issues that your mother and I went through, no one cared, even family couldn't do much.
"Every one is busy living their life.
"When things got tough, the crowd gossiped about us, some even seemed happy that our marriage was in trouble!"


"I have seen this script repeated over and over.
"Brides get stressed on their wedding day, they can't even enjoy, couples being angry at friends who don't support them financially, the worst part is starting marriage in debt or struggling financially.
"Do you know a wedding doesn't have to cost so much, it doesn't have to be stressful, it doesn't have to be full of people who perhaps will never talk to you again?," added the father.
"But dad, what will people think if we do a small wedding or we don't invite them?" asked the fiancé.
"Are you getting married for people?
"If you have a small wedding with only the witnesses who matter, will you two not be married
"What is all this competition of who has a grand wedding for?
"People are competing on Facebook, in weddings; why this need to show off?
"You know that money you are about to blow in one day, you can use it to invest in your marriage, you can start the process of buying or building a home, you can save up for the needs of the children you will have because you need money to raise a family.
"Why not start your marriage financially healthy and not in debt?
"Marriage is what is more important than a wedding," continued the father.
"Dad, if you don't want to support us it's OK," said Kola.
The fiancé stopped him, saying, "No my love, dad has a point.
"I actually find the idea of a small wedding not just wise and economical, but also intimate.
"Marriage is just you and me, not people."

The father spoke, "My son, in all the years you have been a man, you have never come to me asking for money, but now you are asking for money to put up a show?
"I look further, I look at your marriage.
"I admire how people come together in a wedding committee to raise money and I wonder, what if couples and people use that same energy to put up a business that will uplift families.
"Those members who will be part of your wedding committee, imagine if they become your investors, imagine if you build a company where you can make profit and feed your homes.
"Something sustainable."

Kola and his fiancé nodded.

"My son, I have longed for the day you would come and ask me to invest in your business idea.
"But today I will make the first move," the father said taking his cheque book from his drawer.
He wrote on the cheque then gave it to the fiancé.
"Here my son, this is a cheque of N5 million, not for your wedding, but as start up capital for a business of your choice.
"I am giving the cheque to your wife, because as Proverbs 31 said, she is to walk with you in building an empire for your family.
"Focus on your family, give your family the best; forget about the public and opinions of people who don't matter.
"Build a future for your family.
"Build your family on a foundation of surplus not debt."
"Thank you so much," said the fiancé.

Kola stood up with tears in his eyes.

His father stood up too.

The father and son hugged.

"Thank you dad for being a great figure and your counsel.
"I don't know what to say.
"You have challenged me not to merely get married but to have a vision, a vision for my family.
"I don't know what to say" he said.
The father held his shoulder, "You will make a great husband and father.
"I wish I had the same counsel when I was getting married, all those people I fed on my wedding day didn't add value to my marriage.
"In fact, if I was to organise an event and feed multitudes, I would do so for the less-fortunate and those in need.
"Marriage is not for show."

Changed behavior

A young lady was waiting for her flight in the Boarding Room of a big airport. As she would need to wait many hours, she decided to buy a book to spend her time, and also bought a packet of cookies. She then
sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport, to rest and read in peace.

Beside the armchair, where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down in the next
seat, opened his magazine and started reading. When she took out the first cookie,
the man took one also. She felt irritated, but said nothing. She just thought “What a nerve! If I was in the mood, I would punch
him for daring!” And, for each cookie she took,
the man took one too.

This was infuriating her, but she didn't want to cause a scene. When only one cookie remained, she thought: “Ah... what would
this abusive man do now?” Then, the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one half.

What? That was too much! She was much too angry now! In a huff, she insulted the man, took her book and her things, and stormed out to the boarding place. When she sat down in her seat, inside the plane, she looked into her bag, to take her eyeglasses and, to her
surprise, her packet of cookies was there, untouched, and unopened! She felt so ashamed! She realized that she was wrong. She had forgotten that her cookies were in her bag. The man had shared his cookies with her, without feeling angered or bitter, while she
had been very angry, thinking that she was sharing her own cookies with him. And now, there was no chance to explain herself...nor to apologize!

In life, there are 4 things that you cannot recover…
1. The cake… after it's eaten!
2. The word... after it’s spoken!
3. The occasion... after it's lost!
4. The time… after it’s spent!

Let's all be careful and watch our ATTITUDE

"The Best apology is a changed Behaviour"


I get lots of questions on masturbation most especially from ladies -yes, ladies masturbate a lot, especially virgins. Guys also masturbate. There is no debate on that. I'm not here to
argue about who masturbates most, I need to deal with a serious issue.

Sexual urge for virgins is strong. What makes it stronger is the novelty, newness, the mystery and the hearsays about sex.
Masturbation is fondling your genitals consistently to achieve orgasm. Ladies may stroke their clitorises, while guys rub, massage or caress their penises.
Some ladies especiallly non-virgins use candles, banana, small bottles, sticks, dildos and recently Cucumber or whatever represents a penis and do solo sex (having sex by yourself).
From teenage upward, you will have a strong desire for sex.

It's a sure sign you are normal and capable of having and enjoying sex in marriage. In your 20s it will be stronger and intense!
You may wake up feeling horny for no single reason in the world or go hot on spotting a curvy lady!
You may start noticing shapes and curves and you have to shake your head several times to keep the images off.
You may get worked up on watching a romantic movie and discharge something.
You check up and discover you are wet. All these are normal, you haven't committed any sin.
So what then do you do when you get hot and horny? Have sex? I know you know my answer and some singles will never be caught dead sleeping around, so what do they do? They masturbate!
They give themselves release and pleasure through solo sex while claiming virginity at the same time. Masturbation is completely wrong and not the way out. Let me explain:

1. Masturbation is not done in isolation. It is done with the image of someone in mind. It can be a lover, an EX, a celebrity, a married person, a crush, someone you like but incapable of having. You imagine having sex with them while masturbating. This is MENTAL FORNICATION!!!

2. For ladies, while inserting all manner of objects, you may mistakenly deflower yourself and also introduce infections into your genitals and womb. It will be very difficult to convince your future partner that you never had sex with any man except objects during your solo sex.

3. You kill your ability to enjoy sex in future. Millions of women don't enjoy sex in marriage which leads to sexual frustration, adultery, lesbianism and feminism.
If you are used to getting orgasm by yourself, you won't be able to get it from your husband. If you are used to objects in your private part, you won't have feelings for your husband's penis. You will always think of something harder, bigger, longer, larger and completely unrealistic! Women who complain their husbands penises are too small didn't marry as virgins. They must have been promiscuous as singles.

4. You will not have a good sex life as a man. You will experience premature ejaculation and your wife won't enjoy you, this can lead to acute sexual frustration in marriage. You need self control to fully enjoy sex and give your wife maximum sexual pleasure.
A woman enjoys sex when the man can go on for at least 7 minutes before ejaculating. Because you are used to instant release from masturbation, you may not be able to go more than a minute before exploding, leaving your wife completely unsatisfied and frustrated.
She may close up, become frigid and stop having sex altogether which may lead to you having an affair, she having an affair or both of you having affairs. Self control before marriage helps you enjoy sex to the maximum. You are able to delay ejaculation, go on for a long time and have excellent orgasm while giving your wife pleasure too.
That is why total virginity pays!!!

5. If you do not suffer premature ejaculation, you may have serious problem with delayed/ retarded ejaculation. A situation where you get erection for several hours without ejaculation or reaching orgasm. What is the benefit of sex without orgasm?
Rough masturbation with your hands kills your ability to feel/enjoy sex with your wife. It is hell for a woman to be under a man who thrusts in for hours and is unable to ejaculate. How will the woman get pregnant?
It's the reason some women are seemingly "barren" and can't talk to anybody out of embarrassment.
Thrusting hard for so long leaves the woman sore, frustrated and hating sex altogether.
You have so much to lose sexually when you masturbate.
Abstaining from this degrading and ungodly act helps you feel relaxed, confident, have normal sexual intercourse and enjoy the pleasures that comes with sex IN MARRIAGE!

6. You start having sex in the dream with a known or unknown face (demonic entities other wise known as spiritual spouses).

7. You feel drained, dirty, empty, useless and powerless after each act.

8. You start getting unsatisfied and wanting the real thing.
You fantasize more about sex and start longing for the real act.

9. You get a warped view of the opposite sex. You see them as sexual objects and start having sex with anything in skirt or trousers, hence, you become promiscuous.

10. You get damaged, hurt and broken.

11. You are at risk of hell fire!
These and more are the consequences of masturbation. They damage you and shatter you to pieces! What then should you do with your sexual urge?

How do you handle the constant hunger for sex?

1. Avoid all dirty pictures, pornography videos, pictures and hot, romantic movies -they are powerful sexual triggers!

2. Avoid friends who say dirty, lewd and obscene things. Stop all sexy banters with friends and say only things that are pure, holy, needful and helpful.

3. Get busy with your life, education and career, there is more to life than sex.

4. Transmute your sexual energy: Channel your sexual energy into something great....

For those into it already, it's never too late to stop!
Realization leads to manifestation..
You need to realize that this is an ungodly and damming act and hence, be determined to stop such and with the help of Christ, you can be victorious over such..

All you need do is to surrender to Jesus Christ totally.. Only He can help you..
Avoid those all mentioned in 1 and 2 above on how to handle your sexual hunger..

Never leave your mind idle for such thoughts to bear fruits(Let God's Word be used to overcome such thoughts.. Meditate on the Word)

Finally, seek counsel,  meet up with a counsellor,  more especially in Church; one in whom you can tell it to exactly as it is..

Man o man

Man, O Man!
When without money, eats vegetables at home.
When he has money, eats the same vegetables in a fine restaurant.

When without money, rides a bicycle to and from home.
When he has money rides an  ‘exercise bicycle’ at the gym.

When without money, walks to earn food.
When he has money, walks to burn fat.

Man, O Man! Never fails to deceive thyself!

When without money, wishes to get married;
When he has money, wishes to get divorced.

When without money, wife becomes secretary;
When he has money, secretary becomes wife.

When without money, acts like a rich man.
When he has money acts like a poor man.

Man, O Man! Never can tell the simple truth!

Says share market is bad, but keeps speculating.
Says money is evil, but keeps accumulating.
Says high positions are lonely, but keeps wanting them.
Says gambling & drinking is bad, but keeps indulging.

Man, O Man! Never means what he says and never says what he means..

Life is not about what you couldn't do so far, it's about what you can still do.
N200 seems too much to give a beggar but it seems okay when its given as tip at a fancy restaurant.

Praying to God for 3 minutes
takes too much time but
watching a movie for 3 hours doesn't.

Two poor starving kids sitting on the pavement
weren't given even a slice of bread but a painting of them is sold for hundred dollars.

Think about It..
Make a change, because you can ....
Here are six easy ways to earn, even after death.

1) Give a smile or gift to someone. Each time you give a smile, it will make someone's day. You gain.

2) Donate a wheelchair to a hospital. Each time a sick person uses it, you gain.

3) Participate in building an orphanage, or a hospital or a school or a college. Anybody uses it, you gain.

4) Place a water cooler in a public place. When someone drinks the water, you gain.

5) Plant a tree. Whenever a person, animal sits in its shade or eats from it, you gain.

6) And the easiest of all is, share this message with people. Even if one applies any of the above, you gain.

I just did. Thanks for reading